Required: One Marauder’s Map

(I work in a large retail store that requires maps for customers. An older woman approaches me with said map…)

Woman: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

Woman: “Well, that map:” *points to the one bolted to the floor* “It shows me where I’m currently standing, but this one:” *shows the paper map she’s holding* “doesn’t. Why?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the map you actually carry throughout the store. There’s no way for it to know where you are at any time.”

Woman: “Well, all of your maps should show me where I am in the store!”

Me: *taking her paper map* “Let me see if I can get the GPS on this paper map fixed for you.”