Reptile Dysfunction

| Related | July 9, 2013

(Our family are on vacation, driving to a rented beach house. My dad is driving, my mom in the front passenger seat, and I’m in the back with my little brother. I am 13 years old, and my brother is 10. We’re playing ‘Animal, Plant, Mineral’.)

Brother: “Komodo Dragon.”

Dad: “Nope.”

Brother: ” Okay, we give up. What is it?”

Dad: “A scorpion.”

Brother: “What!?”

Me: “I thought you said it was a reptile?”

Dad: “A scorpion is a reptile.”

Brother & Me: “No it isn’t!”

Me: “Scorpions are arachnids.”

Dad: “No, they’re reptiles.”

Me: “No, it has eight legs! Like a spider.”

Brother: “They’re bugs! They have exoskeletons and stuff!”

(This goes on for a few minutes with my brother and I throwing out all the reasons why a scorpion is an arachnid rather than a reptile, while our dad keeps insisting that he’s right. During this our mom is cracking up. Finally she turns to my dad and taps him on the arm.)

Mom: “They’re right. It’s an arachnid.”

Dad: “Oh.”

Brother: “Hah! Told you!”

Me: “How do you even mix those up!?”

Dad: “I’m driving! I have to pay attention to the road!”

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