Replacing This Waiter Is “Highly” Recommended

My husband and I are out to dinner. Our waiter all but stumbles over to our table, leaning precariously against a pillar that we are both grateful is there. His eyes are very red and there is a very distinct smell about him.

Waiter: “Hi… I’m…” *Giggles, and checks his shirt.* “I forgot my name badge, but I think I’m Wayne.” *Giggles again.* “What can get order I for you?”

Husband: “Are you high?”

Waiter: *Genuinely shocked.* “You can tell?!”

We got another waiter. In the many times we have returned we have never seen that waiter again.