Renting The Family Apart

(I have an arrangement with my parents, where I don’t have to pay rent while in college. After college, I start looking to buy a house. My parents agree to not charge me rent, since I would only be there for a few more months, and I really needed to save my money for closing costs.)

Me: “Hey, mom, I’m listing you as my current landlord on the loan papers. So if the bank calls you, that’s why.”

Mom: “Yes! I’ll tell them how you don’t pay your rent!”

Me: “What? No! No! That’s not what I meant. Don’t tell them that! I’ll just put dad’s number instead.”

(Mom wanders off, and then comes back after talking to my dad.)

Mom: “He said he’ll have to remember to throw in that the reason you’re trying to buy a house, is because we’re evicting you for non-payment of rent!”

Me: “There is no winning, is there?”