Rental Mental

(I worked in a movie rental store. We give out membership cards to bring up their account but we also take ID to look up the account. You can have any number of additional people verified to rent movies from your account but they must have their own ID to show that they are who they say they are. Two girls walk up to my register.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay, and will this be all?”

Customer #1: “Yes. Just these two.”

Me: “All right, do you have your membership card?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, it’s under [Actual Member’s Name] and we’re both on the account.”

(I proceed to look it up, confirm that this is the account, and see that there are about four names on the account that are allowed to rent.)

Me: “All right, I just need to see either of your ID’s so I can confirm one of these is you.”

Customer #2: “We don’t have ID’s but we always rent without them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you rent these if you don’t have an ID or membership card.”

Customer #1: “Well, can we get our own membership card?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you need an ID to get a membership card.”

Customer #2: “They ALWAYS let us rent without ID. Why aren’t you just letting us?”

Me: “If they are, they aren’t doing their job correctly. If I knew you personally, or if any of our associates knew you personally, I could call them up here to confirm your identity.”

(Both customers don’t say anything; they just stomp out. I get a phone call about 30 minutes later.)

Me: “[Opening Lines], how may I direct your call?”

Customer #3: “DID YOU TELL MY DAUGHTERS THAT THEY COULDN’T USE MY ACCOUNT?!”

Me: “Yes, I did. They didn’t have any ID on them and they didn’t have a membership card. If you send them with the membership card, I can rent to them, no problem, ma’am.”

Customer #3: “They’re six-f******-teen years old! Of course they don’t have ID’s, you dumb b****!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, they don’t need ID’s if they have the membership card. If you lost yours, you yourself can come in and request new ones. They come with two key-chain cards and one normal card, so you can give the key-chains to whomever you wish.”

Customer #3: “I’ve never had ANY employee tell my daughters they needed ID or one of your d*** cards. If they can tell you my name, let them rent on my account! It’s my account so I can choose how it’s run!”

Me: “I can’t allow that, ma’am.”

Customer #3: “What the f*** do you mean you can’t?! I just told you to!”

Me: “If I did that, ma’am, anyone who came in, and I mean anyone, whether you know them or not, could come in, say your name, rent 10 new movies, and return them late, causing enormous late fees on your account. He could also never return the movies. If that happens, you, and ONLY you will be responsible for paying for the movies in full. If you would like your account to be usable by ANYONE knowing your name, I can talk to my manager and see what we can do for you.”

Customer #3: “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY F****** SENSE BUT FINE! My daughters are going back to get those movies and then we are cancelling my account!”

Me: *before she hangs up, in the cheeriest voice I can manage* “Be sure they have the membership card with them.”

Customer #3: “You’re a f******* b****!”

(The girls did come back and scowled at me the entire time I processed their transaction. They then asked to cancel the account. I explained they would need to return any and all movies they had out and, also, I would need to see the member and her ID card to do so. If looks could kill, I would be dead.)