Remember Which Side Your Bread Is Buttered

, , , , | Right | September 23, 2019

(I work the late shift — four hours by myself until 10:00 pm.)

Customer: “I want a meatball sub on wheat.”

Me: “Sure!”

(I begin placing the meatballs on the sub two or three at a time with sauce in the crease of the bread, as per my training.)

Me: “What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “Provolone.”

Me: “Toasted?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Veggies?”

Customer: “You did it wrong.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Are you stupid? Make it again.”

(I throw the sandwich away and start over. Thinking there might be too much sauce, I put the meatballs on the same way but with less sauce.)

Customer: “NO! What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I assumed you meant the sauce.”

Customer: “Have you ever made a sandwich in your life?! NOT. LIKE. THAT!”

Me: “What would you like me to do differently, sir?”

Customer: “If you don’t know, then you’re an idiot.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Just make it again.”

(He seems to calm down a little and I finish the sandwich for the third time and wrap it up, and he pays and leaves. This happens about five minutes later:)

Customer: *runs into the store, sandwich unwrapped, and propels it across the counter, screaming incoherently*

Me: *covered in marinara sauce* “Seriously?”

Customer: *runs out of store saying something about putting meatballs on the wrong side of the bread*

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