Religion To Step Up Its Game, As Hell Advertises Itself As Pretty Darn Awesome

(This is something I hear while waiting at some traffic lights. There is a preacher standing close to the crossing, and he clocks an elderly woman crossing the road.)

Preacher: “Hello, and how you are today? Would you like to know how you can have immortal life with Jesus? It starts—”

Woman: “Oh, no. I’m hoping I get into Hell, actually.”

Preacher: *gasps* “But why?”

Woman: “Because my brother’s down there for being gay. He died of AIDS in the eighties. I miss him.”

(She continued walking while the preacher stood, dumbstruck.)