Release The Card, Hold The Line!

We just got brand new chip readers at the registers last week, and apparently, they’re too advanced for half our customers.

Customer: *Sliding their card in.*

Machine: “Please do not remove card.”

Customer: *Yanks the card out immediately.* “It didn’t work!”

Me: “Right… because you took it out.”

Customer: “But it told me to take it out!”

Me: “No. It literally told you the opposite.”

After the fifth time this happens in a row, I’ve given up on trusting people to read instructions.

So now when I ring someone up, I lean in and go full kindergarten-teacher mode:

Me: “Okay, you’re going to put the card in the slot… and let go!”

The customer does so.

Me: “Now… don’t touch. Hands away. Wait for the beep-beep.”

The customer stares at the machine.

Customer: “So… I don’t pull it out yet?”

Me: “No pulling out! Not until you hear the beep. The beep is our friend. The beep will guide us.”

Ten silent seconds later:

Machine: “Beep beep!”

Me: *Clapping my hands softly like a preschool teacher.* “Okay! Now we take the card out. Great job!”

The customer grins like they just passed a college exam and wanders off with their receipt.

I feel like at this point, I should be issued stickers and gold stars to hand out at the end of each transaction.