(I share a bedroom with my sister. We are playing the alphabet game instead of counting sheep.)
Sister: “I’ll go first…Alligator.”
Me: “Banana.”
Sister: “Cookie.”
Me: “Dog.”
Sister: “Euphoria.”
Me: “What does that mean?”
Sister: “Really happy.”
Me: “Oh. What comes after your word?”
Sister: “F.”
Me: “F, huh? Hmm… phone.”
*pause*
Me: “Shut up, I’m tired.”
(I’m living away from home, going to school. My parents call me almost every night for a short chat.)
Mom: “How was class today, honey?”
Me: “I didn’t have class. I had my lab exam, remember?”
Mom: “Oh, right. Did you learn anything new?”
Me: “No, I had my lab exam!”
Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your lab exam?”
Me: “Today!”
Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your next exam?”
Me: “Monday. Mom, I’m going to head off now.”
Mom: “Ok, honey, love you. Good luck in your exam tomorrow.”
(My little brother is lamenting how different he is from everyone else in the family.)
Little brother: “Dad, was I adopted?”
Dad: “Yes, but they brought you back.”
(My dad purchases a new plunger, and is in the bathroom telling my mom how to use it.)
Dad: *sarcastically* “You know, for the new plunger, you have to pull the handle out before you can use it.”
Mom: “I know how to use a plunger.”
Sister: “Are you sure? You know you’ve got to put it in the toilet, right? And then push.”
Me: “And then pull.”
Sister: “And then push.”
Me: “And then pull.”
Sister: “And then push.”
Me: “And then pull.”
Sister: “And then you’ve got to take it out of the toilet before you sit down.”
(Dad starts cracking up.)
Mom: “I hate all of you.”
Mother: “Wheel of Fortune…Deal or No Deal…what other game shows does daddy like?”
Child: “Shake your booty!”
Father: *laughs* “I haven’t seen that one. Sounds like an after-hours show!”
