(I’m putting a bridal set on a mannequin. The bottom has a train on it and a little girl is pulling on it.)
Me: “Please don’t pull on that.”
Mother: “Oh, she’s fine.”
Me: “If she rips it, you have to pay for it.”
Mother: *bellowing at daughter* “DON’T TOUCH THAT!”
Customer: “I need a card.”
Me: “Okay, what kind of card are you looking for?”
Customer: “It’s for my brother-in-law. He just had his foot amputated.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. We have ‘get well soon’ cards right here.”
Customer: “Well, he’s not really going to get better, is he?”
Me: “Well, we do have sympathy cards over there.”
Customer: “I don’t really like him.”
Me: “What about a blank card? You could write your own message?”
Customer: “You mean a card with nothing in it?”
Me: “Yes, that’s what blank cards are.”
Customer: “Well I’m not paying for that!” *leaves*
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(While driving a bus, I overhear this conversation between a mother and her child, right after a police car has driven by with lights and siren blaring.)
Child: “Mum, is that police car coming for us?”
Mother: “No, why?”
Child: “Because you told the bus driver I’m three and I’m really four.”
This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!
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(I work at a daycare center and am teaching a room full of two-year-old children to memorize their parents’ or guardians’ names and home phone numbers.)
Me: “So, what’s your daddy’s name?”
Little Girl: “Robert!”
Me: “And what’s your mommy’s name?”
Little Girl: “Dammitjulia!”
(“Robert” had a little talking-to when he came to pick up his daughter.)
(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40s with a kid no older than ten.)
Me: “Welcome, sir, did you get…”
(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)
Me: “… everything?”
Man: “I guess so.”
Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”
Man: “All right, let’s go get some more.”
(About five minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)
Man: “All right, I think this is enough.”
(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)
Me: *whispering* “Uh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”
Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”
Related:
Ah, Fathers
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