(I see a young boy chasing his dad with a light up toy from a gift shop.)

Dad: *running away* “Don’t taze me bro!”

(My two-year-old son hears some thunder.)

Son: “Daddy, what’s that noise?”

Dad: “That’s thunder.”

Son: *knowingly* “Ah, Thor. His hammer did that.”

(I’m a senior in high school. I’ve been home all day, as there is no school due to a holiday. I am having dinner with my parents.)

Mom: “So, what did you do today?”

Me: “Not much. [Attractive female friend] came over and we worked on physics homework.”

Mom: “You were in your room alone with a girl when no one was home?!”

Me: “No. We were in the dining room.”

(A few moments of silence.)

Dad: “I never understood how people could find it comfortable on a table.”

Mom: “Especially with the light fixture hanging down.”

(I practically run from the table.)

(Note: this happened when I was about 4 years old. I was doing something I shouldn’t.)

Mom: “Young man, you stop that right now or you’re going to have to take the consequences.”

Me: *thinks for a bit* “Okay. I’ll take them. But I’m not giving them back!”

(I’m talking to my mom about the book ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, which I have just read. My mom has seen the musical and watched the movie.)

Me: “…and then after that, Erik went and—”

Mom: “Who’s Erik?”

Me: “—then he… wait, what?”

Mom: “Who’s Erik?”

Me: “The Phantom.”

Mom: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yeah, you didn’t know?”

Mom: “Well, it doesn’t sound like a very Phantom-like name.”

Me: “I…uh…okay?”

Mom: “Anyways, what were you saying?”

Me: “Well, then he heard a noise coming from the torture chamber, but Christine kept saying that there is no one there, so Erik—”

Mom: *completely serious* “Who’s Erik?”