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Funny stories about family

Thumbing Up, Dumbing Down

, | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother and I, who are six years apart in age, are seated together on a sky-lift at an amusement park while one vacation. A couple of teenagers — boy and girl cuddling — pass us going the other way. The teenage boy gives me a ‘bro nod,’ followed by a thumbs-up.)

Me: “Did you see that? That guy just gave you a thumbs-up.”

Brother: “What? Why?”

Me: “I think he thought we were together.”

Brother: “No way.”

Me: “I don’t know whether to be creeped out because he thought we’re dating, or flattered because I’m a thumbs-up.”

Might Be On A Bit Too Much Moonshine

| Related | December 26, 2011

(My mother is asking me about a time when I went back-packing through Australia for a year.)

Mom: “Does Australia get the moon down there?”

Christmas Is Off To A Rocky Start

, , , | Related | December 25, 2011

(A little boy and his mother enter the store. The little boy is toting a fairly good-sized rock with both hands.)

Little Boy: “Mama, I want one of those toys for Christmas!”

(The little boy gestures to toys on display.)

Mother: “What do you want toys for? You don’t need toys! You have a perfectly good rock!”


This story is part of the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

Read the next Family-At-Christmas Roundup story!

Read the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

Hurting Your Sibling’s Fillings

| Related | December 24, 2011

(I am getting my molars removed for the first time, and I’m freaking out. My sister decides to take advantage.)

Me: *to receptionist* “So, where are they going take me for the procedure?”

Sister: “A dark, scary dungeon.”

Me: *to sister* “Ha. Ha. Very funny.” *to receptionist* “How’s the dentist planning on sedating me?”

Receptionist: “Well-”

Sister: “They’re going to strap you to a table and beat you with a log until you’re unconscious. Or your teeth fall out. Whichever comes first.”

Me: *to receptionist* “How long am I going to be out?”

Receptionist: “Well–”

Sister: “Years.”

Receptionist: “Oh my God, would you stop? Your brother is turning pale!”


This story is part of our Sisters’ Day roundup!

Read the next Sisters’ Day story here!

Read the Sisters’ Day roundup!

Someone’s Mind Is Obviously Made Up

| Related | December 23, 2011

(I don’t normally wear makeup. My mom is trying to convince me that I would look nice with a bit of makeup.)

Mom: “You should get some makeup.”

(I stick my tongue out.)

Mom: “That’s lovely.”

Me: “Makeup won’t fix that.”

(My sister walks into the conversation.)

Sister: “Makeup won’t fix what?”

(I stick my tongue out again.)

Sister: “What? Your face?”