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Funny stories about family

Like Son, Like Father

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I overhear a boy about the age of 8, wandering through the pet store and looking at the fish tanks.)

Boy: “27 cents for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He wanders down to the tanks containing very large fancy goldfish.)

Boy: “$50 for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He continues in this fashion, reading the prices out aloud and exclaiming ‘what a rip-off!’ after each one. His father tracks him down.)

Father: “Hey buddy, ready to go?”

Boy: “Look at this pretty fish, dad!”

Father: “$15? What a rip-off!”

You’d Butter Follow Your Own Advice

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I always forget to put the butter away after making my toast, and my parents (usually my dad) always remind me to. They stress how when I’m out on my own, I won’t have anyone to remind me. Furthermore, they always tell me not to leave any food under the stove lights. On this particular morning, I remembered and am just putting the lid back on the butter when my dad walks in.)

Dad: “Hey, don’t put it away! I need to use it.”

Me: “Okay…I was just putting the lid on it, since you guys are always reminding me.”

(I leave the kitchen as Dad starts to use the butter on his toast. I come back to the kitchen a couple hours later. The butter has been left on the counter, under the stove lights, almost completely melted.)

Me: *facepalm*

Who Let The Dogs In

| Related | December 12, 2011

(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs, huh?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

, | Related | December 11, 2011

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Social Faux Pa Pa

, | Related | December 11, 2011

Child: “Daddy! Look at this!”

(The father comes over to find his child looking at an adult magazine.)

Father: *to me* “What the h*** is wrong with you? How can you let a 6-year-old boy look at this smut?!”

Me: *ringing up another customer* “Sir, I’m with another customer right now.”

Father: *waving the magazine in my face* “He is way too young for this! Why didn’t you stop him from looking at this?” *he starts screaming obscenities*

(My manager walks by as this is happening.)

Manager: “Sir, she is a cashier, not a babysitter. It is not her job to watch your child, it is yours. She was doing her job when you came up to scream at her. Now get out before I call the police.”

(The man looks embarrassed as he leads his son out. A minute later, he walks back in.)

Father: *mumbles* “I forgot my other son.”

Also seen on Not Always Right