(My cat has been in and out of the house all day, and Mom is getting a little tired of it.)
Cat: “Meow.”
(Mom ignores her.)
Me: “You’re going to have to meow louder than that.”
Cat: *louder* “Meow!”
Mom: *to the cat* “Don’t listen to your dad.”
(My grandfather loves the Miami Dolphins. Us grandkids love sitting in his den watching the games with him.)
Cousin: “Wow, what a play!”
Brother: “Nuh-uh! It was bad! Tell ‘em grandpa!”
(Grandpa puts his hand up to his hearing aid, and watches the TV closely as they zoom in on the coach.)
Grandpa: “Nope, bad play. The coach should put [player] in. He would do much better.”
(The six grandkids all stare wide eyed at my grandfather.)
Grandpa: “Kids, you’ll have to be a little quieter so I can talk to the coach, and tell him what plays to make, or else we’ll have more bad plays like the other one!”
(Us six kids made sure to watch football quietly for the rest of the game.)
(My wife gives me the ‘Beatles’ Number One’ album. I immediately put it on my stereo and play it loud. My teenage daughter makes a disgusting face.)
Daughter: “Dad, its bad enough that’s music I hear on commercials, but do you have to play that old stuff so loud?”
Me: “Let me tell you something. When I was your age, my mother, said to me that when I grew up and I had my own home, I could play whatever I want as loud as I want.”
(I start pounding my chest.)
Me: “Now, you know what? This is my house! And this is my music! And I am going to play my music on my stereo in my house as loud as I want!”
(I crank up the volume. My daughter just stares at me, slowly shaking her head side to side.)
(We begin to talk about movies, and it turns to the movie ‘I Am legend’.)
Mom: “So, he was the only one left? On the whole planet?”
Me: “Yeah, till the other two showed up. I hated the ending.”
Mom: “Was it a true story?”
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