You’d Butter Follow Your Own Advice

| USA | Related | December 12, 2011

(I always forget to put the butter away after making my toast, and my parents (usually my dad) always remind me to. They stress how when I’m out on my own, I won’t have anyone to remind me. Furthermore, they always tell me not to leave any food under the stove lights. On this particular morning, I remembered and am just putting the lid back on the butter when my dad walks in.)

Dad: “Hey, don’t put it away! I need to use it.”

Me: “Okay…I was just putting the lid on it, since you guys are always reminding me.”

(I leave the kitchen as Dad starts to use the butter on his toast. I come back to the kitchen a couple hours later. The butter has been left on the counter, under the stove lights, almost completely melted.)

Me: *facepalm*

Who Let The Dogs In

| Cochrane, Alberta, Canada | Related | December 12, 2011

(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs, huh?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

Social Faux Pa Pa

, | Pennsylvania, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

Child: “Daddy! Look at this!”

(The father comes over to find his child looking at an adult magazine.)

Father: *to me* “What the h*** is wrong with you? How can you let a 6-year-old boy look at this smut?!”

Me: *ringing up another customer* “Sir, I’m with another customer right now.”

Father: *waving the magazine in my face* “He is way too young for this! Why didn’t you stop him from looking at this?” *he starts screaming obscenities*

(My manager walks by as this is happening.)

Manager: “Sir, she is a cashier, not a babysitter. It is not her job to watch your child, it is yours. She was doing her job when you came up to scream at her. Now get out before I call the police.”

(The man looks embarrassed as he leads his son out. A minute later, he walks back in.)

Father: *mumbles* “I forgot my other son.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Mommy Says All Men Are Evil

| Bridgeport, CT, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(A three-year-old boy is playing with some dolls at the day care center and separating them into families.)

Boy: “And this is the mommy, and this is the daughter, and this is the other mommy, and this is the son and the daughter, and this is the other mommy–”

Worker: “Where are all the daddies?”

Boy: “They’re in jail.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Way TooOOOOH Much Information

| New Jersey, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(Someone had left a massager in my department, and a little boy of about four found it and began to experiment with it. He held it up to his dad’s back and pushed the button; when that elicited no reaction, he held it up to his grandmother’s pelvic area and pushed the button.)

Grandma: “OOOOOOOOH! It’s a vibrator! ”

Little boy: *laughing* “Did it tickle?”

Grandma: “Yes, it tickled! But put it down before you break it and your daddy has to buy it.”

Little boy: *skips out toward main mall* “It’s a vibrator, a vibrator! I vibrated Granny!!!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

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