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Funny stories about family

Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2

, , | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother has just came back from vacation in Virginia. Our sister-in-law, who is 20, sees him pull out cash to pay for the airport parking.)

Sister-in-law: “You switched your Virginia money back to Florida money already?”

 

Thumbing Up, Dumbing Down

, | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother and I, who are six years apart in age, are seated together on a sky-lift at an amusement park while one vacation. A couple of teenagers — boy and girl cuddling — pass us going the other way. The teenage boy gives me a ‘bro nod,’ followed by a thumbs-up.)

Me: “Did you see that? That guy just gave you a thumbs-up.”

Brother: “What? Why?”

Me: “I think he thought we were together.”

Brother: “No way.”

Me: “I don’t know whether to be creeped out because he thought we’re dating, or flattered because I’m a thumbs-up.”

Might Be On A Bit Too Much Moonshine

| Related | December 26, 2011

(My mother is asking me about a time when I went back-packing through Australia for a year.)

Mom: “Does Australia get the moon down there?”

Christmas Is Off To A Rocky Start

, , , | Related | December 25, 2011

(A little boy and his mother enter the store. The little boy is toting a fairly good-sized rock with both hands.)

Little Boy: “Mama, I want one of those toys for Christmas!”

(The little boy gestures to toys on display.)

Mother: “What do you want toys for? You don’t need toys! You have a perfectly good rock!”


This story is part of the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

Read the next Family-At-Christmas Roundup story!

Read the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

Hurting Your Sibling’s Fillings

| Related | December 24, 2011

(I am getting my molars removed for the first time, and I’m freaking out. My sister decides to take advantage.)

Me: *to receptionist* “So, where are they going take me for the procedure?”

Sister: “A dark, scary dungeon.”

Me: *to sister* “Ha. Ha. Very funny.” *to receptionist* “How’s the dentist planning on sedating me?”

Receptionist: “Well-”

Sister: “They’re going to strap you to a table and beat you with a log until you’re unconscious. Or your teeth fall out. Whichever comes first.”

Me: *to receptionist* “How long am I going to be out?”

Receptionist: “Well–”

Sister: “Years.”

Receptionist: “Oh my God, would you stop? Your brother is turning pale!”


This story is part of our Sisters’ Day roundup!

Read the next Sisters’ Day story here!

Read the Sisters’ Day roundup!