Fatherhood Can Be A Sizeable Task

| Auburn Hills, MI, USA | Related | December 14, 2011

(A father and grandfather walk in. The father is holding a little boy.)

Father: “Do you have clothes for his size?”

Me: “I’m sure we do. What size is he?”

(The father looks confused for a moment. Suddenly, he holds his child out to me.)

Father: “This size!”

Substitute Vices

| Massachusetts, USA | Related | December 13, 2011

(A mother is at my cash register while her 6-7 year old daughter is still looking around at items.)

Daughter: “Mom, there’s strawberry candy. Can I have some?”

Mom: “Sure, bring it over and let’s see.”

(They turn out to be condoms.)

Mom: “Uh…oh…that’s not candy. Put it back!”

Daughter: “I like strawberry!”

Mom: “You’re too young for that.”

Daughter: “Oh, is it alcoholic?”

Mom: “Well…sort of.”

Daughter: *cheerfully* “Okay, I’ll put it back!”

When In Rome, Do As The Japanese Do

| Italy | Related | December 13, 2011

(We are on a family vacation to Italy. We eat at the same pizzeria every evening. The cook comes out as we are leaving, and I want to say thank you.)

Me: “Grazi, sir! Your food is amazing!”

Cook: “You’re welcome! See you tomorrow!”

Dad: “Yeah! Gracias! Sayonara!”

Me: *walks quickly away*

Children Of The Corn

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Related | December 13, 2011

(I am buying some popcorn for my young daughter.)

Daughter: “Dad, what’s in popcorn?”

Me: “Uhm…well, that’s a good…I don’t know. Miss, what’s in popcorn?”

Concessions worker: “Corn.”

Me: “Well, that was embarrassing.”

Stealing Is Old Hat

| Boston, MA, USA | Related | December 12, 2011

(I am working at a return desk when an old lady and a little girl approach.)

Old lady: “I want to return this hat!”

(The little girl chimes in.)

Little girl: “But Grandma! Don’t you have to pay for it first?”

(The old lady glares at her grand-daughter, grabs her by the arm and stomps off, sans the hat.)

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