An Extra Birth Is Worth The Mirth

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Related | January 4, 2012

(I am 13 months younger than my older sister and was, suffice it to say, unplanned.)

Me: “I would never want to have kids so close together. Two years at least, I think.”

Dad: “Well, what can I say. You were kind of an accident.”

Mom: “Honey, don’t tell her that! She’ll think we didn’t want her!”

Dad: “Okay, dear.” *looks at me* “You weren’t an accident.”

Mom: “Thank you!”

Dad: “You were more of an ‘Oh, crap!’”

Mom: “Honey!”

(At this point I am laughing too hard to even protest.)

Independent Thought Is Dangerous

| WA, USA | Related | January 4, 2012

(My in-laws and I are sitting around at Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law, as if suddenly having some sort of epiphany, jumps up shouting.)

Sister-in-law: “I just found out the United States is the only country that celebrates the 4th of July. Can you believe that?!”

Bitter Ex-Wife Sticker

| Related | January 4, 2012

Haven’t Made It Past The Rainbow

| San Jose, CA, USA | Related | January 4, 2012

(My mom and I are watching ‘The Wizard of Oz’ on TV.)

Mom: “It’s been colorized.”

Me: “Well, yea. But it was colorized originally. It was always in color. That was their big selling point.”

Mom: “I remember it was black and white whenever I saw it as a kid.”

Me: “Uh, did you watch it on television?”

(Mom’s light-bulb goes on.)

Mom: “Of course, we had a black-and-white TV!”

Blame It On The Dog

| Related | January 3, 2012

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