Funny stories about family

Substitute Vices

| Related | December 13, 2011

(A mother is at my cash register while her six-to-seven-year-old daughter is still looking around at items.)

Daughter: “Mom, there’s strawberry candy. Can I have some?”

Mom: “Sure, bring it over and let’s see.”

(They turn out to be condoms.)

Mom: “Uh… oh… that’s not candy. Put it back!”

Daughter: “I like strawberry!”

Mom: “You’re too young for that.”

Daughter: “Oh, is it alcoholic?”

Mom: “Well… sort of.”

Daughter: *cheerfully* “Okay, I’ll put it back!”

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When In Rome, Do As The Japanese Do

| Related | December 13, 2011

(We are on a family vacation to Italy. We eat at the same pizzeria every evening. The cook comes out as we are leaving, and I want to say thank you.)

Me: “Grazi, sir! Your food is amazing!”

Cook: “You’re welcome! See you tomorrow!”

Dad: “Yeah! Gracias! Sayonara!”

Me: *walks quickly away*

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Children Of The Corn

| Related | December 13, 2011

(I am buying some popcorn for my young daughter.)

Daughter: “Dad, what’s in popcorn?”

Me: “Uhm…well, that’s a good…I don’t know. Miss, what’s in popcorn?”

Concessions worker: “Corn.”

Me: “Well, that was embarrassing.”

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Stealing Is Old Hat

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I am working at a return desk when an old lady and a little girl approach.)

Old lady: “I want to return this hat!”

(The little girl chimes in.)

Little girl: “But Grandma! Don’t you have to pay for it first?”

(The old lady glares at her grand-daughter, grabs her by the arm and stomps off, sans the hat.)

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Like Son, Like Father

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I overhear a boy about the age of 8, wandering through the pet store and looking at the fish tanks.)

Boy: “27 cents for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He wanders down to the tanks containing very large fancy goldfish.)

Boy: “$50 for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He continues in this fashion, reading the prices out aloud and exclaiming ‘what a rip-off!’ after each one. His father tracks him down.)

Father: “Hey buddy, ready to go?”

Boy: “Look at this pretty fish, dad!”

Father: “$15? What a rip-off!”

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