Funny stories about family

Making Mole-Hills Out Of Mosquito Bites

| Related | December 22, 2011

(My boyfriend, mom, sister and I are having dinner outside during summer.)

Me: *scratching my chest* “Ouch! I have so many mosquito bites. One just bit my boob!”

Sister: “What boob? You don’t have any.”

Mom: “Hey! Maybe with that bite you can finally fill out that bra and give your boyfriend something to look at!”

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Desperate Housewives: The Next Generation

| Related | December 21, 2011

(I overhear a conversation between a mother and her five-year-old daughter. She piles over $100 in merchandise on the counter and keeps going back for more.)

Mother: “Sweetie, what do we do when daddy makes mommy angry?”

Daughter: “Run his bank book dry!”

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Quiet In A Flash

, , , , | Related | December 21, 2011

(I overhear a conversation. A little girl is stomping around, singing and yelling noisily in the changing rooms at a large clothing store.)

Mother: *from inside cubicle* “Shhh, sweetheart, shhh. Be a good girl.”

(The little girl continues stomping around, singing and yelling noisily, completely ignoring her mother.)

Grandmother: *from inside her cubicle* “Don’t talk to her in that stupid way; shout! Make her shut up.”

Mother: “She’s all right; she’s a good girl. Shhh, sweetheart, shush now.”

(The little girl gets noiser.)

Grandmother: “You’re a bit silly sometimes, love. I’ll sort her out. [Little Girl], come here a minute. Come and see Nanny.”

Little Girl: “What, Nanny?”

(The grandmothers cubicle door opens. The little girl screams.)

Little Girl: “Mommy, Nanny flashed me!”

Mother: “Mom! That’s not the way we handle these things!”

Grandmother: “[Little Girl], be quiet or I’ll do it again, all right?”

(The little girl is freaked out and stays silent.)

Grandmother: *villainous laugh*

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Children Listening Is A Bit Hit And Miss

| Related | December 21, 2011

(The children are hanging out in front of the TV.)

Mom: “Don’t hit your brother.”

Daughter: “But, dad told me to!”

Mom: “And you listened?”

Daughter: “Um, yeah! It was a chance to hit my brother!”

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Grandma’s Secret Ingredient

| Related | December 20, 2011

Mom: “So, what’s this we’re having for dinner?”

Grandma: “It’s… marinada…. marinade… Marijuana sauce!”

Me: “Grandma, it’s marinara sauce!”


This story is part of our Gorgeous Grandmas roundup!

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