(While at a stop light, my mother, who’s driving, is looking through her purse.)

Mom: *commenting on the music* “What are we listening to?”

Me: “OK Go.”

(My mom, without looking up, begins to take her foot off the break.)

Me: “Mom, stop!”

(She stops just in time; we almost rear-ended the car in front of us.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Mom: “You told me to go.”

Me: “Mom… that’s the name of the band.”

(We’re no longer allowed to listen to ‘OK Go’ in the car.)

(I’m talking with my mom about my new boyfriend.)

Mom: “What does he like to do for fun?”

Me: “He likes to play video games.”

Mom: “Oh, no. That’s not good. You don’t want someone who is going to waste their lives doing that. He’ll never have any time for you.”

Me: “We both enjoy it. We play together.”

Mom: “Still, he needs to find something else to do with his time. College-aged men are so lazy.”

Me: “He’s putting in 40 hours a week in training for a manager position.”

Mom: “Well, he should be like my friend and get a real job, and not play video games like a kid. My friend is worth millions!”

Me: “What does he do?”

Mom: “He’s a video game programmer.

Me: “So you’re saying that the guy who programs video games, doesn’t play them?”

Mom: “Why would he?”

(My mum has been away for a few days, and I am on the phone to her about her time away.)

Me: “Did you have a good journey back?”

Mum: “Well, there was some traffic on the roads.”

Me: “Well, yes, where else would you expect to find traffic?!”

(I am 2 years old, and my mother is trying to prepare me for the upcoming birth of my brother, who will be born shortly before my 3rd birthday.)

Mom: *testing me* “What’s Mommy going to bring home this summer?”

Me: *happily* “Cake!”

(We are now in our 30’s, and my brother swears I have never forgiven him for not being a cake.)

(We are a British family on holiday in the US. My mum is writing out a traveller’s cheque. She wants to write the day/month on it as they would be written in the states, which is backwards to us.)

Mum: “How do you write today’s date the American way?”

Me: “Mum, it’s 8th August…”