(I go into the living room to ask my mother a question, and see she’s watching the presidential debate between Obama and Romney.)

Me: “Hey, interesting debate?”

Mom: *staring intently at the TV* “Mhm.”

Me: “So…Can I go to the mall with my friends this weekend?”

Mom: “Sure, sweetie.”

Me: “Can I take the car?”

Mom: “Whatever you want.”

Me: “[Boyfriend] will be there.”

Mom: “That’s nice.”

Me: “Can I have $100?”

Mom: “Sure.”

Me: “I’m pregnant.”

Mom: *finally looks up from the TV* “That’s okay! Thanks to this dumb-a** you’re still on my insurance until you’re 26!”

(My mom and I are on our way home. It is the day of the Presidential debate between Obama and Romney. It is taking place nearby, so a lot of the local roads are blocked. This is making my mom irritated, since she keeps having to find a new route to take.)

Mom: “Why do they need to block so many roads?! Don’t they know how inconvenient this is to us?!”

Me: “Mom, they just want to keep the President as safe as possible. It’s only for today anyways.”

Mom: “I bet it’s because the President is a lousy driver! Can’t go a few miles without hitting something.”

Me: “Mom… you do realize the President doesn’t drive himself to these places, right?”

Mom: *embarrassed* “What? Oh, of course I know that!”

(We have just discovered that our key to the apartment block’s laundry room doesn’t work.)

Mom: “How are we going to do our laundry if we can’t get into the laundry room? I don’t want to be wearing dirty clothes to work!”

Me: “We could, you know, just go to another laundromat.”

Mom: *turning bright red* “Oh, my gosh, that didn’t even cross my mind!”

(I am around fifteen, and want to start cosplaying. My parents are pretty geeky themselves, but are very much against this.)

Me: “Mom! I want to make my own Halloween costume this year! Can you take me to the craft store to get fabric and sewing supplies?”

Mom: “No, that’s a waste of my time and your money.”

Me: “Please? You’ve seen the sewing projects I’ve done for Home-Ec. I can sew!”

Mom: “No, because you’re just going to make something from one of those Japanimation shows you watch.”

Me: “So? There’s a tape in your room of you and Dad dressed like Spock and Kirk on an Enterprise set.”

(Long silence.)

Mom: “I can take you tomorrow.”

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(Given our passions for gaming and fantasy, my husband and I always joked about how we would raise über-geek kids. I see my 3-year-old daughter swinging around a flexible pole from a play tent.)

Me: “Don’t swing that around; you’ll break something.”

Daughter: “But, I’m practicing!”

Me: “Not with that, you aren’t. You’re too little to be playing with that.”

(My daughter stamps her foot and puts her hands on her hips.)

Daughter: “I am too ready!”

(I take the pole away from her, and turn to put it away. As I turn my back to her, she crosses her arms and glares at me.)

Daughter: “…troll.”