L’oréal Has A Lot To Answer For

| London, England, UK | Related | March 8, 2012

(I have come upstairs to find my three-year-old daughter applying make up from my wife’s make-up cabinet. Needless to say, she looks like a clown, and has made a veritable mess all over the place.)

Me: “And just what do you think you are doing, young lady?”

Daughter: “Applying make-up, silly!”

Me: “And why?”

Daughter: *without skipping a beat* “Because I’m worth it.”

Not Enough Love Is A Sign Of The Times

| UT, USA | Related | March 8, 2012

(My sister is trying to teach my two-year-old nephew some basic American Sign Language (ASL). He uses words like ‘please’ and ‘banana’ mostly, but I applaud the effort. I, meanwhile, am a 31-year-old who is trying to become conversational in ASL.)

Me: *to my nephew* “Do you know how to say ‘I love you?’”

Nephew: “No.”

Me: “Here.”

(I show him the I, L, Y sign that is shorthand for I love you. He can’t do it.)

Sister: “What day is it?”

Nephew: “SUNDAY!”

Me: *also signing* “No, it’s not Sunday. It’s…”

(I do the sign for Friday, which is the letter f moved in a circle.)

Nephew: *after a long, confused pause* “I love you, too?”

A REAL brudder!

| Related | March 8, 2012


Existential Parental

| Doncaster, England, UK | Related | March 8, 2012

Mum: “You know, I can’t remember what life was like before you were born. It feels like you’ve always been here.”

Me: “I know. It does, doesn’t it?”

Kids Have No Inno-Cents

| USA | Related | March 7, 2012

(I am working at the checkout. A mother and her young 1-year-old son comes into my line. The son is nagging his mother to buy something for him.)

Mother: “No, we can’t afford it.”

Son: “Then make more money.”

Mother: “Your dad and I are making as much as we can.”

Son: “Then print more money. That’s what daddy did.”

(I look a bit bewildered.)

Mother: *noticing my expression* “He means Monopoly money! His sister threw half of it into the swimming pool.”

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