(My seven year old sister and I get into a fight.)

Sister: *talking about me* “She is so mean! She’s the meanest person ever. She’s the
meanest person in the entire world. She’s… She’s…. She’s the Queen of Mean-gland!”

(We’re asking a hotel chef to cook some eggs for us. My 6-year-old cousin is the last to request.)

Chef: “…and how would you like your eggs?”

Cousin: “Balut.”

(Balut is a Filipino ‘delicacy’ where the egg actually carries the bird embryo!)

(I’m almost old enough to start learning to drive. I’m hinting to my dad, so he can hopefully surprise me with lessons.)

Me: “My birthday is coming up.”

Dad: “Yes.”

Me: “I’ll be 17.”

Dad: “Yup.”

Me: “I’ll need lessons for something.”

Dad: “You’re not learning.”

Me: “WHAT?”

Dad: “Apparating is far too dangerous. You’d forget to concentrate and get splinched half the time.”

(I burst out laughing. My dad hasn’t even read Harry Potter, he’s picked up all of it from listening to me!)

(My 6 year old is asking questions about her new-born sister.)

6 year old: “Mommy, how did [baby sister] get in your tummy?”

Me: “Mommy and daddy made her together.”

6 year old: “Can I help make the next one? Please? We can use brown paint!”

(My sister’s children are mixed race. My daughter wanted a sibling that looked just like her cousins!)

(My daughter has been a lot into philosophy lately. We’re discussing this at the dinner table.)

Daughter: *finishing her point* “…and that is why we can’t tell the difference between good and evil.”

Me: “You should study philosophy when you go to university. You’d be good at it.”

Daughter: “No, I don’t want to. I prefer maths. Anyway, I don’t want to learn what other people think. I want to think by myself.”

Me: “I’m sure you could still learn a lot from people like Plato and Aristotle.”

Daughter: “But Mum, I’ve already learnt from them. Now I’m thinking beyond them!”