Like Son, Like Father

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I overhear a boy about the age of 8, wandering through the pet store and looking at the fish tanks.)

Boy: “27 cents for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He wanders down to the tanks containing very large fancy goldfish.)

Boy: “$50 for a goldfish? What a rip-off!”

(He continues in this fashion, reading the prices out aloud and exclaiming ‘what a rip-off!’ after each one. His father tracks him down.)

Father: “Hey buddy, ready to go?”

Boy: “Look at this pretty fish, dad!”

Father: “$15? What a rip-off!”

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You’d Butter Follow Your Own Advice

| Related | December 12, 2011

(I always forget to put the butter away after making my toast, and my parents (usually my dad) always remind me to. They stress how when I’m out on my own, I won’t have anyone to remind me. Furthermore, they always tell me not to leave any food under the stove lights. On this particular morning, I remembered and am just putting the lid back on the butter when my dad walks in.)

Dad: “Hey, don’t put it away! I need to use it.”

Me: “Okay…I was just putting the lid on it, since you guys are always reminding me.”

(I leave the kitchen as Dad starts to use the butter on his toast. I come back to the kitchen a couple hours later. The butter has been left on the counter, under the stove lights, almost completely melted.)

Me: *facepalm*

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Who Let The Dogs In

| Related | December 12, 2011

(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs, huh?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

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Ah, Mothers, Part 6

| Related | December 11, 2011

(The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after a while. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”

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Ah, Mothers, Part 7

| Related | December 11, 2011

(I’m putting a bridal set on a mannequin. The bottom has a train on it and a little girl is pulling on it.)

Me: “Please don’t pull on that.”

Mother: “Oh, she’s fine.”

Me: “If she rips it, you have to pay for it.”

Mother: *bellowing at daughter* “DON’T TOUCH THAT!”

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