A Mother’s Love Knows No Bounds

| Tampa, FL, USA | Related | February 20, 2012

(My mother has an intestinal problem, and sometimes it makes her flatulence noticeable. We are driving together.)

Mom: “How much do you love me?”

Me: “Huh?… Oh, geez!”

(I hurriedly roll down the window before it hits me.)

Mom: “Ha ha!”

Next Time Look It Up On Your max-iPad

| UT, USA | Related | February 20, 2012

(My older brother and I are very close, and we love to mess with each other. We are with our grandmother and mother in the pharmacy. The feminine hygiene products are right next to the condoms.)

Brother: “I wonder why they put the tampons next to the condoms?”

Me: “Because they go in the same place.”

(He gets a shocked and disgusted look on his face.)

Brother: “I shouldn’t have to hear that from my little sister!”

A Hard Hat For Protection

| UT, USA | Related | February 19, 2012

(My older brother has turned eighteen. He is going to go on a camping trip with his friends and girlfriend. I am playing videogames and overhear him talking to Mom.)

Mom: “Alright, you’re all ready?”

Brother: “Yeah.”

Mom: “Okay. Now that you’re eighteen, I can’t tell you not to go on this trip, and I want you to have fun. So, just remember, always wear a hat when you go inside her house.”

(There is an awkward silence as we process what just happened.)

Me and brother: “Eww!”

A Hidden A-Gender

| USA | Related | February 19, 2012

(I’m visiting my grandpa at his home, who hasn’t seen my brother and me since we were kids. I’m female, but I have short hair and boyish clothes.)

Me: “Hi, grandpa!”

Grandpa: “My dear grandson, how are you? You’re a really big boy now.”

(My brother walks in behind me.)

Grandpa: “Who’s he, and where’s your sister?”

A Descent Sense Of Humor

| PA, USA | Related | February 18, 2012

(I’m helping my family move our belongings that we’ve kept in storage for a while. My dad locates a vintage baby carriage.)

Dad: “We’re going to put a baby in here one day.” *turns to me* “I want you to pump out a kid so we can use this.”

Me: “Hey, now. We don’t even know if [boyfriend] is fertile.”

Dad: “That’s okay. We can just borrow some from your brother and do it artificially.”

Me: “What?! Dad!”

Brother’s girlfriend: “The first line of genes will be amazing, but everything after that will be all messed up.”

Dad: “I don’t care. I’ll be dead by then.”

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