(My brother, mother and I are on vacation. We rent a small cabin for the weekend, so all our beds are in one room. At night we started discussing falling asleep.)
Mom: “I can only ever fall asleep if I’m on my right side.”
Me: “That’s weird. I can only ever fall asleep if I’m on my left side.”
Brother: “Well, it doesn’t matter to me! I’m ambi-bed-sterous!”
(I am a 14-year-old guy. I have two female friends home in our living room, watching a movie. At this point, my father comes home and just looks at us.)
Father: “Two at once? Attaboy!”
(My aunt has lost her hair because of chemo treatments. This happens while she, my uncle and my parents are waiting on a table while out to dinner.)
Little Kid: “I hate going to school! I hate the bus! The driver is mean!”
Aunt: “You know, I’m a bus driver. It’s hard having to deal with all those kids.”
Little Kid: “Really?”
Aunt: *whips off her hat* “Look what they did to me!”
Little Kid: *shrieks and runs away*
Aunt: *readjusting her hat* “Totally worth it.”
(My dad goes outside to cook some burgers on the grill for dinner. After a few minutes, we hear him scream like a girl and come inside.)
Mom: “What’s wrong?”
Dad: “There’s a wasp’s nest in the grill. But don’t worry, I can take care of this.”
(My dad goes back outside and comes in minutes later with a can of bug spray. He places it dramatically on the counter.)
Dad: “Do not worry family, the wasps are gone. I just committed insecticide.”
Did you find this story using our World Bee Day roundup?
(My mom, dad, and I are sitting in the kitchen around dinnertime when my brother walks past the doorway.)
Mom: “Are you getting hungry, [brother]?”
Brother: “No, I’m just Budapest. I couldn’t get all of Hungary.”
Me: “I’ve got Romania!”
Dad: “You don’t like Turkey, though. Too much Greece.”
