Waffling On

| NY, USA | Related | April 26, 2012

(I am dropping off milk at my grandma’s.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your milk.”

Grandma: “I’m making pancakes. Do you want any? It only takes 10 minutes!”

Me: “No, it’s okay.”

Grandma: “Pancakes!”

Me: “I have homework, grandma.”

Grandma: “Pancakes!”

Me: “Grandma, I need my computer to do my homework, and my computer is at my house.”

Grandma: “PANCAKES!”

Me: “Fine, I’ll have one.”

Grandma: “Pancakes?”

Me:Just one. I’m not that hungry.”

(Grandma has a deliriously happy grin.)

Doesn’t take a genious

| Related | April 25, 2012

Uplifting Father Figure

| Springfield, OR, USA | Related | April 25, 2012

(My family is sitting at home watching TV after not having seen each other for awhile.)

Dad: *to my brother* “Man, you’ve gotten kind of fluffy since last time I saw you. You were pretty skinny before.”

Brother: “Shut up! I’m not fluffy. I’ve been working out. You have to gain muscle before the fat comes off.”

Dad: “Working out doing what?”

Brother: “I’ve been power-lifting!”

Dad: “Power-lifting what? Your spoon?!”

The Long Driving Arm Of The Law

| Spain | Related | April 25, 2012

(I got my driving license last October. My aunt invites me to come with her family to the cinema. She asks her husband to let me drive, as I had driven almost all of my family except her.)

Uncle: “No. She’s not driving my car until she is no longer considered a newbie.”

7-year-old cousin: “Daddy, you should let cousin [my name] drive. She does it much better than you!”

(Her 2-year-old brother nods in agreement, and my aunt starts to laugh. My uncle gets angry and we get in the car. As we are driving, the police make us stop.)

Uncle: “What’s the problem, dude?”

Policeman: “You just got caught by two radars.”

7-year-old cousin: “I told you! You should have let [my name] drive!”

(I notice that the policeman is the son of one of my father’s friends.)

Policeman: “You should, sir. She is quite a good driver. At least that’s what her father says!”

There Are Several Dimensions To Craziness

| London, England, UK | Related | April 25, 2012

(My parents and I are watching the news, which is reporting on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking.)

Me: *imitating a reporter* “I went out in London to ask the public around the world what they thought about it.”

Dad: “Yes, we all mourned the day Leonardo DiCaprio got his rocks off and then promptly froze them but a mere 3 hours later.”

Mum: “She must have really loved him to drown him. He was probably just sleeping.”

Me and Dad: *imitating ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’* “I’m not dead yet!”

(The news mentions the film ‘Titanic’ being out again in 3D.)

Mum: “Watch him die again, now in 3D.”

Me: “Teenage boys lining up to see Kate Winslet naked, in 3D.”

Dad: *imitating ‘Monty Python’ again* “I’m not dead yet!”

Me, mum and mad: “In threeeeh-deeeeh!”

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