The Ex-Generation X

| NY, USA | Related | April 21, 2012

(My youngest cousin is about 5 and is calling me on the phone while I am away at college.)

Cousin: “Hi! I have a homework to do!”

Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”

Cousin: “When were you born?”

Me: “1989.”

Cousin: “You were born in the 1900s?!”

Me: *laughing* “Yes, but make sure you don’t tell your grandparents or your parents that!”

Cousin: “Okay, I won’t! Thank you!”

(My status as an ‘old person’ was solidified after she learned that I know what a VCR is, and I know how to work it.)

A Good Husband Should Cheque

| MI, USA | Related | April 20, 2012

(My parents, siblings and their families and mine eat together every Friday night, taking turns hosting. Since my husband and I both work full time and have two children under 3 years old, it is often easier for us to invite everyone to a restaurant and pay for the meal, than have them over to our home. On this occasion, my sister’s visiting father-in-law has come along to the restaurant.)

Me: *to waitress* “I’ll take the bill.”

Sister’s father in law: “You’re paying?”

Me: “Yeah, this is my night to make dinner and this way I don’t have to do dishes.”

Sister’s father in law: “You’re paying for everyone?”

Me: “Yep!”

Sister’s father in law: “Well…thank you. Does your husband know?”

Hammer Home Discipline

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Related | April 20, 2012

(I’m watching the movie ‘Thor’ with my six-year-old son. In our house, misbehaving means you lose your DVD privileges.)

Son: “Mummy, what just happened?”

Me: “Well, Thor did something his daddy told him not to do, and he lost his hammer privileges.”

Enough To Make You Cry Me A River

| Australia | Related | April 20, 2012

(I show my cousin a photo of our fathers with the River Nile in the background.)

Cousin: “Wait, the Nile? But my dad said he’s never been to Egypt.”

Me: “This is Khartoum, Sudan. It’s right where the main Nile meets with the White and Blue Niles.”

Cousin: “I thought the Nile was in Egypt.”

Me: “Most of it. But it runs through several countries.”

Cousin: “I didn’t know rivers could do that.”

Me: “Think about what you just said.”

Professional Immaturity

| Omaha, NE, USA | Related | April 20, 2012

(My parents and I are watching TV. I’m rather engrossed in watching when I feel something hit me. It’s a rubber band. I slowly turn, seeing the guilty look on my mother’s face. I’m across the room and holding back laughter.)

Me: “You immature brat!”

Mom: *completely mishearing, gets a look of confusion* “Amateur?! I’m a professional brat! I’ve been a brat longer than you’ve been born!”

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