The Heat Is On

| Southern California, CA, USA | Related | April 23, 2012

(I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of almost two years. One of my guy friends has randomly showed up at my door, just to say hello.)

Mom: “Wow, now that you’ve broken up with Jeremy, all the boys are sniffing around. It’s like you’re a dog in heat!”

Me: “…I have no words.”

This Game Has Lost Its A-peel

| Hermiston, OR, USA | Related | April 23, 2012

(As a game, I am trying to get my sister to guess what word I am thinking of. I am giving her plenty of hints. The word is “potato peeler”.)

Me: “You use this to remove the skin of a certain tuber.”

Sister: “Peeler?”

Me: “You have gotten one part right. Now, what is the tuber that is peeled by said peeler? We eat this all the time.”

(I am thinking that she’s totally going to get it.)

Sister: “Bananapotato?”

Baby Daddy

| Vienna, Austria | Related | April 22, 2012

(My 4-year-old son is talking to the 10-year-old daughter of my friend.)

Son: “If you ever want to have children, then I’ll be their daddy!”

A-Flat Minor Not Played By The Minor

| NY, USA | Related | April 22, 2012

(My 4-year-old cousin was banging keys on the piano and we filmed her. Later, I replace the audio track with myself playing the piano for real. I show it in a family gathering. Everyone laughs except for one relative.)

Relative: “Wow! Oh my goodness! She’s a little prodigy! How did she learn so fast? She’s definitely pro!”

(We thought she was kidding, but she wasn’t. She was really disappointed to find I replaced the audio track!)

Meet The Smart-alecs

| TX, USA | Related | April 21, 2012

(My family is visiting my grandparent’s house for Thanksgiving. My grandparents are on my dad’s side of the family. My dad decides to be a bit of a smart-alec to my grandmother.)

Grandmother: “Oh, you son of b****!”

Dad: “Well, then what does that make you?”

Grandmother: “A b****, I guess.”

Me: *with a smart-alec grin similar to my dad’s* “Well, Granny. This is where, ‘Think before you speak,’ comes into play.”

Grandmother: *to my dad* “Terrific, she’s taking after you.”

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