Totally, Like, Amortentia

| MN, USA | Related | April 24, 2012

Mom: “So what happened at school today?”

Me: “Well, my insane English teacher almost started a riot with a discussion about Harry Potter ‘shippings’.”

Mom: “Ship-pings?”

Me: “Yeah, ‘shippings’…short for relationships. Like, in The Hunger Games, Peeta and Katniss are a shipping, and so is Katniss and Gale.”

Mom: “So people were upset over shippings?”

Me: “Yep. There was controversy over whether Harry should have married Ginny Weasley or Luna Lovegood.”

Mom: “Luna Lovegood?! Sounds like the name of some chick in a dirty movie!”

Related
(from NotAlwaysRomantic):
Totally, Like, Engorgio
Totally, Like, Avada-Kedavra
Totally, Like, Sectumsempra
(from NotAlwaysRight):
Totally, Like, Aguamenti
Totally, Like, Excruciatus

Passed With Frying Colors

| NY, USA | Related | April 24, 2012

(My mom makes dinner consisting of two different kinds of Chinese sausage. One is red colored, and the other one is brown.)

Me: “Can I get some more sausage please?”

Mom: “Sure, which one do you want?”

Me: “Either is fine.”

Mom: “Do you want the red one or the…not…red one.”

(Silence.)

Mom: *blushes* “What?”

Me: “Red or not red. That only takes out a tenth of the color spectrum.”

Mom: “Shut up. I cooked, so I get to describe the color. Red or not?”

Eggs-pert Cook

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Related | April 24, 2012

(My husband and I are at my parents for a long weekend. My mom (who really can’t cook) has been making every meal all weekend. It’s now Sunday around brunch time. My husband walks into the kitchen to find my mom about to make scrambled eggs, but in the microwave.)

Husband: *to my mom* “You’ve done so much for us this weekend. Let me finish this up. You go out and get started on brunch.”

(My mom heads out to the dining room and makes herself a bagel. My husband makes scrambled eggs on the stove, brings them to the dining room table, and sits down. We all eat, and my dad speaks up.)

Dad: *to my mom* “These are the best eggs you’ve ever made!”

 

A Seconds Second Meaning

| CA, USA | Related | April 23, 2012

(I am with my friend and her family for the weekend. We are getting ready to go out for dinner and my friend is taking a while primping. Her sister gets impatient.)

Sister: “Come on, I’m starving!”

Friend: “I’m almost ready, just gimmie a sec.”

Sister: “I’ve given you enough secs already!”

(She hears what she has just said out loud, and turns very red.)

Acting With PomPomposity

| LA, USA | Related | April 23, 2012

(While playing a game of ‘Taboo’, (a game where you have to get your partner to guess a word where you can’t say certain words on the card) my brother and I are partners and the word I had to make him say was ‘cheerleader’.”

Me: “Rah-rah-sis-boom-bah! What am I?!”

Brother: “Annoying.”

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