(My dad has started a business, and is running it out of our house. The phone has been ringing off the hook all day; I’m not allowed to answer it as I am only eight years old. The phone rings repeatedly, but no one is in the room; I pick it up myself.)

Me: “Hello! Grand Central Station, how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Oh s***! How did I call England?!”

(The caller hangs up really quickly. Later that night dad yells at me as that was apparently a very important client. I never understood how that adult thought they’d dialed out of the country!)

(My husband and I are getting ready to watch TV. Our three-year-old daughter decides she doesn’t want to watch what we pick.)

Daughter: “Bambi. I want Bambi.”

Husband: “I didn’t think she watched that one.”

Me: “Yeah, she’s seen it.”

(I turn to my daughter.)

Me: “What’s Bambi about?”

Daughter: “Lunch!”

(My sister is as much of a geek as I am. We stop at a game store known for prominently displaying odds, ends, and collectibles. As I’m browsing a shelf, I bump into a prop gun. I knock it over.)

Sister: “Way to go, clod.”

(Upon seeing the prop herself, she freezes in place.)

Sister: “Is that… a machine gun… with a chainsaw attached?”

Me: “Yeah. It looks like the one from Gears of War.”

(She picks up the prop and looks it over, she starts to swoon.)

Sister: “I think I’m in love…”

(My younger sister is in high school. While we’re both geeks, she’s into comics and I’m into video games.)

Sister: “Do you have these?”

(She lists several video game titles.)

Me: “All besides one.”

(A few days later she comes home with a handful of memory sticks, and shoves them at me.)

Me: “What the heck is this?”

Sister: “My friends couldn’t get through their parts of the game. They want you to load their data, get them unstuck, save it, and give it back.”

Me: “Oh, okay…”

(She starts walking away.)

Me: “Did you just pimp me out to all your nerd friends?”

(She gives me the thumbs up without looking back.)

(I’m having a conversation with my mum about a woman I work with. This woman is really pretty and good natured, but not very intelligent.)

Me: “She’s nice enough, but it’s a real pain having to till train her every five minutes. I’m convinced the manager only employed her because she has blonde hair and nice legs!”

Mum: “That’s ridiculous! Are you saying your manager only employed her because she’s pretty?”

Me: “Yeah, he does this a lot!”

Mum: “Well that can’t be right. He employed you, didn’t he!?”