(I hear a strange springy noise coming from the staircase. It’s followed by the sound of my 18-year-old daughter giggling.)
Daughter: “Tee hee hee!”
(The springy sound continues, then stops.)
Daughter: “Tee hee hee!”
(Springy sound again.)
Daughter: “He he he he… no!”
(She runs down the second flight of stairs to fetch something that had apparently fallen down between the steps of the first flight of stairs. I turn around to see her come back up. She’s holding a slinky.)
Me: “Sigh…”
(She runs back upstairs and continues to play with the slinky. She’s going to university next year…)
(My husband and I are sitting on couch, watching Winnie the Pooh with our two young children. We reach the scene where Christopher Robin has to pin Eeyore’s tail back in place. My husband looks at our kids very solemnly.)
Husband: “Kids, remember when you asked daddy what a prostate exam feels like?”
(My younger sister and I are shopping. Since we need things from different areas in the store, we split up. As I’m looking at clothes, the PA system starts an announcement. The speaker is obviously trying not to laugh.)
PA: “Would the female Link please report to the Customer Service desk? Princess Zelda would like to be rescued, thank you.”
(I am wearing a crocheted hat like the one Link wears.)
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(I am four years old. I cut my head open by tripping into a brick fireplace. I have managed to cut my head open and get stitches every year I have been alive, so I am used to needles.)
Doctor: “Wow! I have never seen a kid this young not even bat an eye at getting stitches in their face, let alone not cry.”
Mom: “He’s had plenty of practice.”
Doctor: *not amused*
(The guy I like has expressed interest in meeting my family. I’m talking it over with my parents.)
Me: “Dad, you need to be nice to him.”
Dad: “I’m always nice!”
Me: “Uh-huh. What about that time when [ex] came to pick me up for a date, and you had Fox News on at full volume in the background?”
(The ex in question was very liberal.)
Dad: “That’s different. That was funny!”
