(I am visiting my husband’s family for Easter, and we have just returned home from Easter Mass. They are Catholic, while I was raised Greek Orthodox. My sister-in-law and I are very close, and like to tease each other and joke about religion.)

Sister-In-Law: “You’re in trouble!”

Me: “Hmm? Why?”

Sister-In-Law: “You took communion.”

Me: “I wanted a cracker! I didn’t have breakfast this morning; I was starving!”

Sister-In-Law: “You’re going to Hell!”

(My father-in-law chimes in from the next room.)

Father-In-Law: “We’re Catholic; we’re all doomed anyway!”

(It’s early spring, and the city where my parents live received a snowstorm the previous week. I’m on the phone with my parents. People are always commenting that my dad and I have the same sense of humour.)

Me: “So, are you still getting bad weather over there, or has it cleared up?”

Mom: “Oh, it’s much nicer! Your father was excited today because he saw seven robins.”

Me: “Is he sure it was seven robins? Or was it only the same robin that he saw, but seven times?”

Mom: “No, it was seven all at the same time.”

Me: “Is he sure it was seven, or is he suffering from double vision in his old age?”

(My father and I speak the next lines at the same time:)

Me and Dad: “Maybe it was only three-and-a-half birds!”

(My aunt, cousin, best friend, and I go to the mall. We decide to split up and meet again in an hour for lunch.)

Aunt: “How was your shopping? Where did you go?”

Me: “Guess.”

Aunt: “Ummm… Natural Wonders?”

Me: “No, Guess.”

Aunt: I am! A book store?”

Me: “No, we went to Guess! It’s a clothing store!”

(I am visiting my mother’s house with my three-year-old daughter. My mom tells me that her dryer needs to be replaced, because it is tearing up the clothes. My daughter comes into the room.)

Daughter: “Hey Grandma? What’s going on?””

Mom: “Look, sweetie…”

(She reaches into the laundry basket next to her, and takes the first thing off the top and holds it up.)

Mom: “Look what the dryer did to Grandma’s underwear.”

Daughter: “Oh! It made them huge!”

(I’m a huge Legend of Zelda fan. I’ve also gotten my little sister interested in it. Unfortunately she’s more interested in watching me play than playing herself. I make her play for the first time.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Sister: “Trying not to die! These plants are trying to eat me!”

Me: “You have a sword. Just hit them with it.”

Sister: “I keep missing.”

Me: “How can you miss? They’re right in front of you.”

Sister: “It’s just easier if I avoid them.”

Me: “They’re the easiest enemies in the whole game. Go back and kill that Deku Baba.”

Sister: “No.”

Me: “Do it.”

Sister: “No!”

Me: *in a deep demonic voice* “Kill the Baba!”

(She quits.)