Reasoning With Children Can Leave You Pooped

| Related | March 27, 2012

(My niece is three years old, and beginning to discover toilet humor. We’re outside on the porch having dinner, and she’s circling around the table.)

Niece: “Poopy butt! Poopy butt! Poopy butt!”

(She stops to laugh manically.)

Me: “That’s gross, don’t say that. Where did you learn that?”

Niece: “Poopy butt! Poopy butt!” *giggling*

Me: *sighs and plays along* “You’re a poopy butt.”

Niece: *points* “Stop! Don’t say that! That’s gross!”

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Wishy Washy With The Chores

| Related | March 27, 2012

Mom: “The dishwasher needs to be empty.”

Me: “That’s nice.”

(Later on…)

Mom: “Why haven’t you emptied the dishwasher yet? I asked you to earlier today.”

Me: “You never asked. You stated.”

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Silence Of The Wookiees

| Related | March 26, 2012

(I’m in the car with my brothers and mum. We are listening to the radio, where there is a Wookiee-calling competition.)

Older brother: “I can imitate a dead wookiee.”

Younger brother: “Oh yeah? Do it then!”

Older brother: *silence*

Younger brother: “Do it, then!”

Older brother: “I am.”

Younger brother: “Huh?!”

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Since She Left, It’s Just Not Right

| Related | March 26, 2012

(We are in the house I have lived in my entire life. I am home from university for the first time.)

Me: “I’m going to go to the washroom, excuse me.”

Sister: “It’s to the left.”

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Be Careful What You Whistle For

| Related | March 26, 2012

(I am female, and I have a brother and a sister. My siblings and I are walking in Philadelphia. Some guy whistles at me and my sister.)

Brother: “Why, thank you, sir!”

Some Guy: *turns red and hurries off*

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