A-Dressing The Problem

| Detroit, MI, USA | Related | February 22, 2012

(I have been saving for a prom dress I really want for months. I finally have enough. I go to order it, and it’s sold out. I burst into tears. I am not religious, whilst my grandmother is Catholic.)

Grandma: “Now, honey, don’t worry about that dress!”

Me: “But..but I wanted that one! I’ve worked for months!”

Grandma: “It’ll be back in stock tomorrow, don’t you worry!”

Me: “It’s sold out, though!”

Grandma: “It’ll be back.”

(The next morning…)

Me: “Grandma! It’s back!”

Grandma: “I told you. I prayed last night and said, ‘Mary, you know how women are about their dresses’. And look. Mary knows.”

Adopting A Strange Attitude

| UK | Related | February 22, 2012

(I phone my mum to ask her something. My sister answers, as my mum is driving.)

Me: “Hey, can you try and persuade mum to bring you all to come and visit me in the school holidays?”

Sister: “Sure. Hey mum, God just called he said you have to take us to see [my name] in the holidays.”

(We talk for a few more minutes.)

Me: “And, I got these awesome new Batman Converse shoes.”

Sister: “I want some too!”

Me: “It will cost you £50.”

Sister: “Hang on. Mum, God’s talking to me again. He said you have to give me £50 for some Batman Converses.”

Me: “You are so strange…but if you weren’t, I would think you were adopted or something.”

A Punky-Dory Christmas

| ON, Canada | Related | February 22, 2012

(I’m out with my Mom and Grandmother. We are shopping during the Christmas season.)

Grandma: “Oh, look at that young lady’s festive jacket and hair! It’s got Christmas decorations on it.”

(Mom and I turn to see a stereotypical punk girl. She has colourful patches all over her jacket. Her hair is red, though.)

Me: “No, Grandma. She’s being punk, not in the Christmas spirit.”

Grandma: “And see, that’s why you’re here. I would have gone over to her and raved about her coat asked her where she got all of the decorations.”

Her Argument Carries More Weight

| Burnaby, BC, Canada | Related | February 22, 2012

(For a family reunion, I’m meeting my four-year-old niece for the first time. I’m slightly overweight but still wear tight jeans and t-shirts. She lifts up my t-shirt to show my belly.)

Niece: “There’s a baby in there!”

Me: “No, that’s called ‘jiggly bits’.”

Niece: “Baby!”

(Her ten-year-old sister collapses in fits of laughter, and doesn’t let me forget about this for the rest of the week.)

Karma Is More Than Skin Deep

| San Diego, CA, USA | Related | February 21, 2012

(My sister and I are talking in the kitchen. I like to think I’m not superficial, but my sister has taken issue with the looks of the guy I am into.)

Sister: “Of course his mother likes you. All the ugly boys’ moms want their sons to marry pretty girls.”

Me: “I can’t believe you just said that! How rude!”

Sister: “I just don’t want to be embarrassed to introduce my potential brother-in-law to people.”

(My brother walks in at that exact moment, without knowing what we’re talking about.)

Brother: “Yeah, well imagine how we feel. We have to introduce you to people all the time!”

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