(My mom and I are walking home. It has been a long day, and we are both tired. My mom has started whining, and in doing so she sounds somewhat childish.)
Mom: “Are we there yet?”
Me: “We’ll be there soon.”
Mom: “That’s what you always say!”
(This continues, and it becomes a bit of a joke.)
Mom: “Daddy, when will we get there?”
Me: “NO! NO! This conversation just crossed a line. NO!”
(We’re all a little odd in my family. I’m in the dining room, when my mum walks in laughing her head off. On her hand is a paper bag, which she has turned inside out and drawn an owl on. I leave the room, and walk into the lounge. My brother is there; he looks up at me.)
Me: “We never stood a chance…”
(My mom and I are visiting my grandmother for a few days. We help her make dinner, and sit down to eat. I can’t help noticing how she watches how I hold my fork.)
Grandmother: “I am so glad you don’t hold your fork like your brother!”
(My brother holds his fork with an outstretched pinky finger.)
Me: “What do you mean? Oh, the whole pinky thing? Yeah, I guess it’s a little weird.”
Grandmother: “Yes! I’m worried that when he does it, people will think he’s queer!”
(There is an awkward silence. I put down my fork.)
Me: “Um… what?”
Grandmother: “Queer! You know… gay!”
Mother: “We know what queer means, mother!”
(My mother and I were pretty weirded out by that statement. The kicker? I came out as a lesbian a couple of years after my grandmother’s passing, and I sure didn’t hold my fork the ‘queer’ way!)
(I am taking my five-year-old son to the optometrist for his yearly eye check-up.)
Doctor: *to my son* “So, are you have any trouble seeing things?”
Son: “Well, my regular vision’s fine, but I’m still working on my x-ray vision.”
This story is part of the World Sight Day roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
13 Reasons Why Healthcare Workers Should Rule The World
Read the next World Sight Day roundup story!
Read the World Sight Day roundup!
(We have recently found pinworms in our children. After having taken the medicine, we pay more than usual attention to hygiene.)
Wife: “Don’t scratch your rear; you can get the worm eggs on your fingers. You suck them, and you can re-infect yourself this way.”
Daughter: “But I scratch with this one…” *shows index finger* “…and suck this one.” *shows thumb*
