The Truth is Never Expendable

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Related | December 18, 2011

(I work at a movie theatre. A father walks in with a relatively small child in tow.)

Father: “Hi, I’d like one for The Expendables.”

Me: “Okay. How old is your child?”

Father: “He’s 3. He gets in free, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir. He does.”

Child: “But daddy, I’m five! I’m five, daddy, I’m five!”

Father: “Dang it, Darrell!” *turns back to me* “Two for The Expendables.”

Photo-synthesise A Cure

| Sun Prairie, WI, USA | Related | December 17, 2011

(A mother has her sick three-year-old with her. She needs help finding medicine.)

Me: “What symptoms are you trying to treat?”

Mother: “Well, her nose…and, um, her eyes, uh…Hang on.”

(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a photo.)

Mother: “Here’s a picture of what my daughter normally looks like, and look at her now. She’s really sick. What do you recommend?”

The Farce Is Strong In This One

| OK, USA | Related | December 16, 2011

(I am a customer shopping through DVD sales on Black Friday. A young boy runs up to look as well.)

Boy: “Look, dad! Star Wars!”

(The boy picks up the movie and looks closer. It is Episode 2, with Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman on the cover.)

Boy: “Wait. This isn’t the real Star Wars. What is this? Hey, dad, why are they pretending to be Star Wars?”

Totally Dory-ble

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Related | December 16, 2011

(I am in the fish department of a pet store. A father and son are browsing the wall of fish. They stop at a tank full of orange and black striped fish. The father points some out.)

Father: “Look, son. It’s Nemo!”

Son: *around 5 years old* “No, dad. That’s a clown fish.”

Father: *shuts up*

Making A Sharp Point

, | Baltimore, MD, USA | Related | December 16, 2011

(I overhear a mother and young daughter in a store.)

Daughter: “I want to go to [Grocery Store] and get some mechanical pencils!”

Mother: “No. We’re not going there for pencils.”

Daughter: “What? Why not?!”

Mother: “They’re too expensive! I’d have to give them my arm!”

Daughter: “But, you’d still have one left over!”

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