Try Spelling I-R-O-N-I-C

| VA, USA | Related | May 15, 2012

(My dad has a habit of jokingly saying ‘You moron!’ to me and other people when they can’t hear him.)

Dad: “I should get a license plate that says, ‘You moron’, so I don’t have to say it. I’d spell it U-M-O-R-A-N.”

Me: “Dad, ‘moron’ has two O’s.”

Dad: “M-O-O-R-A-N?”

What the holiday means to me

| Related | May 15, 2012

Getting A Donkey Kick Out Of It

| Pune, India | Related | May 14, 2012

(My grandmother and I have a relationship where we keep running each other down. I drop in one day. She calls out to her maid.)

Grandma: “Make a cup of tea for this donkey.”

Me: *calling out in an equally loud voice* “And one for me too, please!”

Vegetate On The Meaty Issues

| New Zealand | Related | May 14, 2012

(My four-year-old sister is asking my dad questions.)

Sister: “Daddy? Are animals alive?”

Dad: “Yes, animals are alive.”

Sister: “I don’t want to eat things which are alive! I don’t want to eat meat anymore!”

(She goes on for a few days not eating meat, then comes to my dad again.)

Sister: “Daddy. Are plants also alive?”

Dad: “Yes, plants are also alive.”

Sister: *starts crying* “But…but what am I going to eat?”

Pray The Airhead Has Airbags

| Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Related | May 14, 2012

(I am in the car with my sister and we are about to pull out of the driveway. Traffic clears and she continues to sit there, missing her chance to pull out.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Sister: *turns to me with a large smile on her face* “I forgot I was driving.”

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