Colorful Poetry

| IL, USA | Related | February 5, 2012

(I’m on my netbook saying random things.)

Me: *reading aloud a quote* “Name your daughter Orange, so no boy can write poems about her.”

Cousin: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, orange doesn’t rhyme with anything.”

(My cousin tries for a few seconds.)

Sister: “That’s the same for purple and silver.”

I Can See It All Over Your Face(book)

| Davidson, NC, USA | Related | February 4, 2012

(I am trying to convince my mother to let me have a Facebook account. I am 4 years past the age requirement, and she is the only one stopping me.)

Me: *sits beside Mom on couch* “Hey Mom.”

Mom: *doesn’t even look up from book* “No.”

Problem With The Mother Board

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Related | February 4, 2012

(I am living away from home at university. I am in my flat, when I receive a phone call from my mum.)

Me: “Hey mum, are you alright?”

Mum: “I need your help sorting the computer out. The internet has stopped working.”

(I instantly know what’s wrong. My mum often accidentally pulls out the internet cable without realising.)

Me: “That’s fine. I think I know what the problem is, as it’s happened before. Just look behind the CPU, and-”

Mum: “I’m busy putting dinner out. You can’t just expect me to come away from what I’m doing to sort the computer out for you!”

Me: “Mum, you rung me to ask for my help. We’ve been on the phone less than a minute.”

Mum: “And?”

Me: “You rung me to ask for help sorting the computer out, whilst you we’re putting dinner out, and are having a go at me for trying to help?!”

Mum: “I can’t be bothered arguing with you.” *hangs up*

They Don’t Ignore The Elephant In The Room

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Related | February 3, 2012

(My father is holding me as a new-born baby me for the first time. My mom is still loopy on anaesthesia.)

Dad: “Oh, honey! Look! She has my ears!”

Mom: “Oh, good. Now she can fly through the air like an elephant!”

Pronunciation Is Fowl

| Granite, OK, USA | Related | February 3, 2012

(My brother is 7 years old. We are arguing about how to spell ‘chicken’, which he insists is pronounced ‘ticken’.)

Brother: *runs up to dad* “Daddy, what does ‘ticken’ start with?”

Dad: *serious face* “An egg.”

Brother: “But it’s ‘ticken’!”

(Sending a golden opportunity, my boyfriend chimes in.)

Boyfriend: “It’s not ‘ticken’! It’s not a bomb!”

Page 1,583/1,613First...1,5811,5821,5831,5841,585...Last
« Previous
Next »