Bite-Sized Logic

| USA | Related | January 27, 2012

(My preschool-aged niece is in trouble for biting. While we are all together, she bites
her dad.)

Mother: “Stop that! Don’t bite daddy! If you want to bite someone, bite yourself!”

Daughter: “No! It hurts when I bite me!”

Mother: “Yeah, and it hurts daddy when you bite him!”

Daughter: “But it doesn’t hurt me!”

Me Speak Only Americano

| WI, USA | Related | January 27, 2012

Cousin: “I hear you just got back from a semester abroad. How was it?”

Me: “It was pretty great.”

Cousin: “Was it difficult, like, with the language thing?

Me: “No, I was in London.”

Cousin: “Right, was the language difficult?”

Me: “No, I was in London, England.”

Cousin: “Do they speak English there?”

Naked Under Scrutiny

| Boston, MA, USA | Related | January 26, 2012

(My mom is visiting for the weekend when my 3-year-old daughter bursts into the bathroom. It’s a running joke in the family that my husband hates it when his daughters run around the house without clothes on.)

My mom: *still undressed after her shower* “Close the door! Your dad’s right out there!”

My daughter: “Oh, it’s okay. Daddy doesn’t like naked little girls, but he likes naked ladies!”

Literacy Skills In The Dark Ages

| San Diego, CA, USA | Related | January 26, 2012

Me: *to my sister* “Ugh, I don’t want to study for medieval literature.”

My sister: “What’s medieval literature?”

Me: “Literature from the medieval era?”

My sister: “Oh. They had literature back then?”

Me: “They had literature way before then.”

My sister: “Oh. What’s literature?”

Childbirth Is Not To Be Sniffed At

| Orlando, FL, USA | Related | January 26, 2012

(My brother has the sniffles all day, because his sinuses are acting up.)

Brother: “Don’t get allergies.”

Me: “Too late for that. I’ve already got some.”

Brother: “Then don’t get pregnant. It sucks.”

Me: “You would know?”

Brother: “Yep, it’s like PMS times 1000.”

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