There Are Several Dimensions To Craziness

| London, England, UK | Related | April 25, 2012

(My parents and I are watching the news, which is reporting on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking.)

Me: *imitating a reporter* “I went out in London to ask the public around the world what they thought about it.”

Dad: “Yes, we all mourned the day Leonardo DiCaprio got his rocks off and then promptly froze them but a mere 3 hours later.”

Mum: “She must have really loved him to drown him. He was probably just sleeping.”

Me and Dad: *imitating ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’* “I’m not dead yet!”

(The news mentions the film ‘Titanic’ being out again in 3D.)

Mum: “Watch him die again, now in 3D.”

Me: “Teenage boys lining up to see Kate Winslet naked, in 3D.”

Dad: *imitating ‘Monty Python’ again* “I’m not dead yet!”

Me, mum and mad: “In threeeeh-deeeeh!”

A Spoon Stirs Many Topics

| Scotland, UK | Related | April 25, 2012

(Mum and I are in a small office filling out paperwork. The girl helping us leaves to get something. From the room next door where a meal is being served, we hear someone say they need more spoons.)

Me: “I wonder why they’re only allowed spoons.”

Mum: “Maybe they’re not allowed anything else, or don’t need anything else.”

Me: “Well, I guess a spoon can be used for most stuff if you have to.”

Mum: “Yeah, like your dad on the army.”

Me: “Like when he was in Canada and it was so cold he had to break the ice every morning for a shave.”

Mum: “Do Eskimos have that problem?”

Me: “I don’t know.” *pause* “How do Eskimos go to the toilet?”

Mum: “I don’t know. Wouldn’t they freeze to the ice?”

Me: “Maybe they build special seats? No, they’d freeze to those too.”

Mum: “You’ll just have to ask an Eskimo.”

Me: “Do you know what else I’d ask an Eskimo?”

Mum: “Do penguins taste like chicken?”

(We were both laughing so hard when the girl came back we were close to tears. Not that we could explain why though, given the conversation!)

When bunnies attack

| Related | April 24, 2012

Spoilers Are Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

| Kansas, USA | Related | April 24, 2012

Me: “I still haven’t gotten to see Titanic in theaters!”

Mom: “Sorry buddy, spoiler: the b**** does let go.”

Totally, Like, Amortentia

| MN, USA | Related | April 24, 2012

Mom: “So what happened at school today?”

Me: “Well, my insane English teacher almost started a riot with a discussion about Harry Potter ‘shippings’.”

Mom: “Ship-pings?”

Me: “Yeah, ‘shippings’…short for relationships. Like, in The Hunger Games, Peeta and Katniss are a shipping, and so is Katniss and Gale.”

Mom: “So people were upset over shippings?”

Me: “Yep. There was controversy over whether Harry should have married Ginny Weasley or Luna Lovegood.”

Mom: “Luna Lovegood?! Sounds like the name of some chick in a dirty movie!”

(from NotAlwaysRomantic):
Totally, Like, Engorgio
Totally, Like, Avada-Kedavra
Totally, Like, Sectumsempra
(from NotAlwaysRight):
Totally, Like, Aguamenti
Totally, Like, Excruciatus

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