Don’t Knock Knock Christmas

, | Germantown, WI, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(A dad and his children are in my checkout line. I’m ringing up items for the family when I hear his children talking to each other.)

8-year old son: “Want to hear a joke?

5-year old son: “Yeah!”

8-year old son: “Knock knock.”

5-year old son: “Who’s there?”

8-year old son: “Merry!”

5-year old son: “Merry who?”

8-year old son: “Merry, it’s almost Christmas!”

(I laugh.)

Dad: *looking at me and laughing too* “Yeah, I was wondering where he was going with that.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Ah, Fathers, Part 2

| Commack, NY, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40’s with a kid no older then 10.)

Me: “Welcome sir, did you get…”

(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

Me: “… everything?”

Man: “I guess so.”

Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”

Man: “Alright, let’s go get some more.”

(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

Man: “Alright, I think this is enough.”

(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”

 

You Couldn’t Make It Up

| USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

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Mom In A Thong: Wrong

| Santa Cruz, CA, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed to have non-service dogs in the store unless you’re holding them.”

Woman: “Oh, I know.”

Me: “Well… I am going to have to ask you to keep the dog in your arms while you’re shopping.”

Woman: “That’s fine. I just had to readjust my thong.”

Woman’s young daughter: “MOM!!!!”

Woman: “What? I wanted him to know.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Hell In A Recycle Basket

| Bloomington, IL, USA | Related | December 11, 2011

(A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)
 
Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”
 
Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”
 
Son: “What if I don’t?”
 
Mother: “Uh, well…then you go to purgatory!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

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