Reptile Dysfunction
(Our family are on vacation, driving to a rented beach house. My dad is driving, my mom in the front passenger seat, and I’m in the back with my little brother. I am 13 years old, and my brother is 10. We’re playing ‘Animal, Plant, Mineral’.)
Brother: “Komodo Dragon.”
Dad: “Nope.”
Brother: ” Okay, we give up. What is it?”
Dad: “A scorpion.”
Brother: “What!?”
Me: “I thought you said it was a reptile?”
Dad: “A scorpion is a reptile.”
Brother & Me: “No it isn’t!”
Me: “Scorpions are arachnids.”
Dad: “No, they’re reptiles.”
Me: “No, it has eight legs! Like a spider.”
Brother: “They’re bugs! They have exoskeletons and stuff!”
(This goes on for a few minutes with my brother and I throwing out all the reasons why a scorpion is an arachnid rather than a reptile, while our dad keeps insisting that he’s right. During this our mom is cracking up. Finally she turns to my dad and taps him on the arm.)
Mom: “They’re right. It’s an arachnid.”
Dad: “Oh.”
Brother: “Hah! Told you!”
Me: “How do you even mix those up!?”
Dad: “I’m driving! I have to pay attention to the road!”