Trying Their Breast To Be Annoying

| Orange County, CA, USA | Related | March 6, 2012

(I get overheated easily, so I tend to show cleavage. My family is seriously irreverent, and therefore my grandmother and mother routinely try to ‘pitch’ things into it—M&Ms, etc.—anything that looks like it’ll fit. I recently went bra shopping and bought one that has a little cushion thing that ‘separates’, and incidentally FILLS the space they pitch things into.)

Me: *to my mom* “So, I realize that in a normal family, I wouldn’t have to do this. Look.”

(I point at my bra.)

Me: “You cannot pitch things into my cleavage now. Please do not try.”

Mom: *looking* “Ooh!” *pokes at the padding* “I could stack stuff there! You have a table!”

Me: “NO! No stacking! No pitching! I’m gonna start wearing a bib!”

Mom: *completely straight-faced* “If you do that, I’ll throw stuff that sticks to it.”

Fiancé: *trying very hard not to laugh* “Why?!”

Mom: “Because I can!”

Twenty Years To Deliver A Letter

| France | Related | March 6, 2012

(My family and I are on an 8-hour trip across France for a holiday, and are starting to get bored. My mum pulls out a puzzle book and starts to do some crosswords. I decide to help her, but I can’t see the book since I’m in the front passenger seat next to my dad.)

Me: “What words do you have left to do?”

Mum: “Quite a few, actually.”

(Before my mum can answer, my dad interrupts.)

Dad: “Is ‘postman’s sack’ on the list?”

Mum: “No.”

Dad: “Check if it’s there or not. I’m driving.”

Mum: “I can’t see anything like that!”

Me: “Let me see the book.”

Mum: “No! The words aren’t there. He’s just being stupid.”

(At this point, my dad begins to giggle to himself over something.)

Me: *to dad* “Well, how many letters does it have?”

Dad: *shouting in my ear* “HUNDREDS! ‘Postman’s sack’ contains hundreds of
letters!”

(He begins crying with laughter as me, my mum and my brother look on.)

Dad: “I’ve been waiting 20 years to tell that joke!”

Me: “Was it worth it?”

Dad: “Yes!”

Mum: “NO.”

Don’t go here for vacation

| Related | March 6, 2012

Mommy Dearest…

| Related | March 5, 2012

LALALA I Can’t Hear You!

| Related | March 5, 2012


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