(I’m 15 years old. My mother mentions to her friend that I love to read. Her friend buys me a bunch of new books to read, as a present. I begin reading, and I realize that some of them are ‘adult’ books. My mom is kind of strict, so I’m surprised she would okay me reading these books, but I figure she is loosening up a bit and say nothing. A few weeks pass…)

Mom’s Friend: “So how is your daughter liking her new books? Is she reading them?”

Mom: “Oh yes, she is devouring them.”

Mom’s Friend: “That’s great! I’m glad she is enjoying them. It’s great that a young woman of 25 still enjoys a good book.”

Mom: “25? No, she is 15.”

Mom’s Friend: “15?! I thought that you said that she was 25!”

(My mom comes into my room red-faced, and takes my books. She donates them to charity! She doesn’t talk to that friend anymore.)

(I am a customer, and I overhear a cross-generational conversation in the store.)

Grandma: “Well, can’t they just drink water?”

Mom: “Ugh, no, Mom. They are kids. They don’t drink water. It’s nasty. Seriously, who likes water?”

Kid #1: “I like water!”

Kid #2: “Me too! I like water!”

Mom: “Well, that’s weird and gross.”

(My mom and I are in a hotel room, and she’s flipping through channels on the TV. She comes across ‘Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring’, at a scene where Gandalf is standing and talking to Pippin. I gasp, as I love this movie, and haven’t seen it in a while.)

Mom: “Oh, is this Harry Potter?”

Me: “No, Mom. No. This is definitely Lord of the Rings.”

Mom: “Well, I don’t know. It was a guy with a long white beard. It could have been Gandalf!”

Me: “Mom, that is Gandalf.”

Mom: “Oh. Well, what’s the guy’s name in Harry Potter?”

Me: “Dumbledore. That would be Dumbledore.”

Mom: “You’re going to disown me, aren’t you?”

Me: “Probably.”

This story is part of our Lord Of The Rings roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Hilarious Stories About Some People’s Strange Relationship With Tolkien

Read the next Lord Of The Rings roundup story!

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(My seven-year-old is known for asking a LOT of questions. I have just endured a particularly long set of questions.)

Son: “Why are those people doing that?”

Me: *sigh* “To make you ask questions.”

Son: “Well, that’s just ridiculous. Everything makes me ask questions!”

(I’m on the phone with my mom, who has been dating a guy for a while before she broke up with him. They are casually seeing each other now, and telling me about it.)

Me: “So, how would you describe your relationship?”

Mom: “I guess I’d say we’re friends with benefits.”

Me: “What?!”

Mom: “Yeah, I think that would describe us pretty well.”

Me: “You do know what friends with benefits means, right?”

Mom: *offended* “Of course I do!”

Me: “Okay, okay. Just don’t tell me any more about it. I don’t want to know that part of your relationship.”

Mom: “What? Why not?”

Me: “I don’t want to think about my mother having sex!”

Mom: “Huh? Why would I be having sex?”

Me: “Because you’re friends with benefits? No strings attached? F***-buddies?”

Mom: “Wait, friends with benefits doesn’t mean you aren’t dating but you go hang out together?”

Me: “No, mom, it doesn’t…”