Rehire Her Then Fire Her! Simple!

I worked at a grocery store during high school and my first two years of college but resigned because I found a job on campus that worked with my class schedule. Fast forward a year. I’m a senior in college and getting some shopping done. I park my cart in front of the milk display so I can grab a gallon. I feel another cart hit the back of my leg.

Me: “Hey! What the—”

I turn around and see an old lady wearing a ferocious scowl.

Old Lady: “Excuse me!”

Me: “That’s all you had to say.”

I grab some milk and scoot out of the way.

Old Lady: “What kind of customer service is this?! Get me some milk! I can’t reach the top shelf!”

I look down at my shorts, flip-flops, and T-shirt with my school mascot on it, none of which are store colors.

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Old Lady: “Yes, you do! I’ve seen you! You shouldn’t shop on your day off if you don’t want to help people!”

Me: “I don’t work here, lady!”

One of the stock clerks approaches.

Stock Clerk: “Ma’am, she hasn’t worked here in over a year. I’ll grab some milk for you. Which brand would you like?”

I try to walk away, but she shoves her cart directly into my path and blocks me.

Old Lady: “No! I want her to do it for me!”

I grab a gallon of the most expensive brand and throw it in her cart.

Me: “There. Happy?”

Old Lady: “Was that so hard? Your manager will be hearing from me!”

She pushes her cart off in triumph.

Stock Clerk: “Sorry, [My Name]. You know we get all the crazy on weekends.”

Me: “Not your fault.”

I finish my shopping and check out. I can see the old lady yelling at my former manager at the customer service desk. It’s right on my way out, so I am able to listen in as I’m finishing up.

Old Lady: “…and she threw the milk into my cart! Do something!”

Manager: “Ma’am, she hasn’t worked here in over a year. You were harassing another customer.”

The old lady starts yelling incoherently. The manager makes eye contact with me and rolls her eyes. I pick up my bags and walk past the desk. The old lady stares at me.

Me: “Lady, I told you!”

She starts screaming. I start laughing and head for the doors. The last thing I hear as I exit is:

Manager: “No, I can’t fire someone who quit over a year ago!”