Refuses To Move From The Subject

(I work at an adult store in the same building as a topless club. I answer the phone for both sides. As you can imagine, we get a LOT of prank calls. Having worked here for over a year, I’ve gotten the same people more than once. This guy, in particular, I’ve gotten three times.)

Time #1:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: “Yeah. I’ve been here almost all day.”

Caller: “Well, you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move, b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Caller: “What are you going to tell them?”

Me: “Move.”

Caller: “No, you tell them to ‘move, b****.'”

Me: “Okay. Byyyeee.”

Time #2:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

(It has been a while since the first time and I’ve forgotten about him.)

Me: “I guess?”

Caller: “Well, you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move, b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: *remembering* “I don’t like to give in to road rage.”

Time #3:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

(This time, I immediately remember, even though it’s been a while.)

Me: “Actually, I love my job.”

Caller: “Yeah, but sometimes you’re just ready to go home.”

Me: “Nope. I love being here.”

Caller: “Well, I bet when you get off, you’re just ready to get home.”

Me: “Not really. I love my job. I love being here.”

(He keeps trying to get me to give him his opening.)

Me: “I don’t really like driving at night.”

(I immediately realize my mistake but it is after midnight and I didn’t get much sleep last night.)

Caller: “Well, if someone gets in your way—”

Me: “G**d*** it.” *click*

(Next time, I’m telling him I live here.)

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