That Refund Just Glided Through

(I work at the customer service desk dealing in returns, exchanges, etc. Today, a customer comes up to my colleague with a bottle requiring a pump-action to get the contents out.)

Customer: “I bought this the other day, but it’s not working; can I swap it for one that does?

Colleague: “No problem; if you bring up what you want to exchange it for, I’ll put it through.”

(The customer goes to get a replacement and comes back to the desk.)

Customer: “The thing is, I don’t want to get it home and find out it doesn’t work, either. Can you test it?”

Colleague: “Of course.”

(By this point, the customers and colleagues at the adjoining kiosk desk are laughing. My colleague presses down on the top and some of the contents squeeze out into her hand. The customer is quite happy as the exchange is put through.)

Colleague: *rounding on colleagues who are now rolling on the floor* “What’s so funny?”

(She looked down at the defective bottle in her hand and saw that it was sexual lubricant — which she now had on her hand. Everyone was laughing, including her, as she ran to the bathroom to wash her hands. By the end of my shift, about an hour and a half later, everyone working heard the story. You’d have to have a set of brass ones to go up to a customer services desk to say, “The lube doesn’t work!”)