Reese’s Pieces Of Death
(I have a student who is severely allergic to peanuts. It’s in their IEP that even incidental contact could cause them serious problems, and I have to pay close attention to labels on what I eat and wash my hands vigorously if I have anything nut-related. I’m in a committee meeting in my principal’s office. Her recently-restocked candy dish is FULL of Reese’s Pieces.)
Me: *stares at bowl hungrily and uncertainly*
Principal: “What’s wrong?”
Me: “I really want a Reese’s, but I don’t have time to wash my hands as much as I’d need to before I pick up my class.”
Principal: “Does washing your hands really take that long?”
Me: “I mean, it’s either that or I accidentally kill [Student]…”
(Long pause as I realize what I just joked about, and my principal just stares.)
Principal: *tossing three pieces my way* “Well, if you’re killing [Student], you might as well make it worth your while.”
(For the record, I did wash my hands the required amount, and was only a minute late picking up my class.)