Redirecting Telemarketers To God

(My grandma gets calls and letters from telemarketers. She is getting very tired of this.)

Grandma: “Hello? Who is this?”

Caller: “This is [Company]. May I speak with [Grandpa]?”

Grandma: “This is his wife; what do you want?”

Caller: “I need to speak with [Grandpa].”

Grandma: “Well call 1-800-Heaven. He died last year!”