Redefining “Lightweight”

I worked in a bar at a sports stadium. We were allowed to have non-alcoholic drinks but many of the staff added spirits to their drinks. Usually, management turned a blind eye — often they would have one, too — as long as no one got drunk. But there was one worker who often went overboard, so one of the supervisors asked the bar staff not to let him have so many drinks.

One time, he was outside the bar, obviously very drunk, slurring his words. The supervisor had to make him take off his badge and sit among the crowd watching a game so management didn’t see him.

As the supervisor came back inside, he said, “Hey, [Coworker], I thought I told you that [Drunk Coworker] could only have one drink. He told me that you gave him four drinks and complained that you made them really strong.”

My coworker replied, “He pitched a fit when I told him he could only have one, so I thought I would just dip my finger in the scotch and run it around the rim of his cup. I didn’t think he would get so drunk on what was basically four drops of scotch.”