Red And White Jacks Turn The Language Blue

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2019

(I am working at an electronics store. A middle-aged lady and her two children walk in and wander about the store. Then, they come to the counter and ask for help in the TV section.)

Customer: “Hi. I need a cable for my auntie; she wants to plug her iPod into her sound system and play music. Is this the cable she needs?” *shows me a 3.5 to 3.5 mm jack*

Me: “Yep, that would definitely work as long as they are the right ports; do you know which sound system she has?”

Customer: “No. Hang on. I’ll call her.”

(The customer calls her auntie while I wait a few moments. Then she turns to me and shoves the phone into my face.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Here! You talk to her!”

Me: “Hi there. I was just talking to your niece and she explained that you were looking to connect your iPod to your sound system. Could you tell me which model it is?”

(I figure if it’s not in the store, I can look it up online in two seconds.)

Customer’s Aunt: “It’s a [Brand], model [number].”

(Checking that we do actually have that model, I see it is a newly-released Bluetooth sound system with a single input jack on the front.)

Me: “Okay, thank you, miss. I’ve checked the model here in the store and I can see which cable it requires. I’ll hand you back over.”

(I pass the phone back to her niece, and she pays for the cable and leaves. Thirty minutes later my coworker picks up a phone call and tries to answer, but all I can hear is shouting. He hands the phone to me.)

Coworker: “It’s for you.”

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer’s Aunt: *on phone* “YOU F****** PIECE OF S***! YOU SOLD MY NIECE THE WRONG CABLE, YOU C***! I CAN’T PLUG IN MY IPOD AND PLAY MUSIC, YOU F****** LYING A**HOLE!

(I’m holding the phone at arm’s length while my coworker looks at me incredulously.)

Customer’s Aunt: *still going* “YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY RIGHT NOW, YOU—“

Me: “Okay, miss, I’m not exactly sure what has happened, but if you bring the cable back to the store we can exchange it for the correct cable or give you a refund.”

Customer’s Aunt: “NO! I WANT MY MONEY BACK! YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR MY TAXI RIDE FROM [Thirty Minutes Away] TO THE STORE, AND THEN YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE ME A FULL REFUND AND THE CORRECT CABLE FOR FREE, YOU F***! THEN, YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR MY TAXI RIDE BACK HOME! AND YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR IT OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET, YOU PIECE OF S***!”

Me: “Well, miss, as I explained, I can only exchange or refund the item, not both, and unfortunately, I cannot pay for your transport.”

Customer: “WELL, SCREW YOU!” *continues yelling for another two minutes before hanging up*

(I hope that is the end of it. Two hours later her niece comes back in, walks up to the counter, and shows me a picture on her phone.)

Customer: “Here! You sold me the wrong cable! My auntie said you were going to refund me then give me a new cable and pay for my travel!”

(I look at the picture and see the Bluetooth speaker we spoke about, sitting on top of a Sanyo amplifier and speakers from the early 90s. Knowing those speakers have only phono — red and white — jacks, I realise what has happened.)

Me: “Miss, the cable I sold you is for the small Bluetooth speaker sitting here.” *pointing at photo* “However, this here—“ *pointing at the Sanyo* “—is a different sound system and only takes red and white jacks like this one.” *holds up a headphone to phono cable* “I can exchange the other cable for this one if you have it with you.”

Customer: *looks at the photo and realisation sets in* “F***!”

(Then, she simply walked out the door; I never heard from them again.)

 

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