Rebirth And Return

(I am working behind the counter at a high end department store when a customer comes up with a bundled up wad of faded fabric under her arm.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I need to return this dress I just bought. It doesn’t fit right.”

Me: “No problem. Do have the tags or receipt?”

Customer: “Of course! Here.”

(She hands me what I’ve asked for. They’re both incredibly old; the paper is actually yellow with age. The brand of the dress is one we haven’t carried in years.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t return this.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? This store always takes returns!”

Me: “This dress is too old for me to return.”

Customer: “Impossible! I only bought it a few months ago. I live far away so I haven’t had a chance to return it until now. Here, I even have the business card of the woman who sold it to me.”

(She hands me the business card, which, while legitimate, has the company’s old logo which was switched out in 2000. It is now 2012.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the sale is too old for the computer to recognize. I can’t return it.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable! I just bought this dress and it looks awful on me so I want to return it.”

Me: “This receipt is from 1985. You bought this dress before I was born.”